Creation: A Different Perspective

I have no idea who created the funny piece I'm going to share with you. I suspect it was written years ago when HMO's hit the scene, but it is still relevant and still funny!

Enjoy!

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"

And Man said, "Yes!" and Woman said, "And as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds And Satan smiled. 

And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, sugar from the cane and he combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart- healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center in to chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger, and then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.

Author Unknown

I Don't Care Enough About Me

As an Ideal Weight Coach, I work with clients who want to uncover the hidden belief system behind their weight problem. The one thing I find in common with obese people is that knowing how deadly obesity is does not deter their eating. To proselytize about the dangers of obesity – heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and a host of other ailments – is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. Judging this as a self-esteem issue is, well, a judgment, and a waste of time. It’s much more productive to find something that they want and link achieving their ideal weight to that goal.

For example, one client wants to find her ideal partner, and she realizes that a man who would want her at her current weight would not be an ideal match. She quickly discovers that her weight was a protective barrier, and one that was slowing killing her. We set up a plan to convert the excess fat into internal confidence, a confidence that would enable her to say “no” to unhealthy relationships verbally instead of using her weight to keep poor choices away. Fear was the underlying issue, not the weight. She’d had a bad relationship a few years back and turned to food for comfort. She soon became “addicted” to high fat foods and lost track of what a normal sized meal actually looked like. She had gotten caught up in the Super-sized mentality. After calculating her ideal weight and ideal calorie count, she knew that she had some relearning to do. But first things first, she had to replace the underlying fear about getting into a future relationship with the confidence that she could and would walked away from any relationship that was not right for her.

So, you see, being overweight is never about the weight; it’s about the underlying issue. Find out what that is, work on it, and the weight will return to normal in no time.

The Sinking Balcony

Someone asked me the other day what I thought the biggest issue was around obesity, and I said, “Denial!” Most people don’t realize that they are overweight, and if they do realize it, they don’t seem to care because everybody else seems to be overweight too. That seems absurd to me. That mindset reminds me of what my father would say when I would ask to go somewhere because all my friends were going: If all your friends jumped off a cliff, would you? I know that sounds silly, but in a way it’s true. We all have a tendency to follow others, even when doing so is not in our best interest.

I recall a study done that reported that gaining weight was contagious. It stated that if your friends are overweight, you have a greater chance of becoming overweight too. I suspect it’s because of our need to belong, to be like others, to fit in. Being different in a circle of friends could lead to ostracism, the death knell of teenagers and young adults.

Back to the idea that most overweight people are in denial makes me think about two people I know who have knee problems. Both are obese, and neither has given the possibility that their knee problems are the direct result of having too much weight on so little support much thought. I actually had the audacity to suggest to one of them that losing eighty pounds could really help, and I was told that being overweight had NOTHING to do with the problem. Say what?

I learned firsthand what happens when a support structure is inadequate for a massive amount of weight just a few weeks ago. I hired a handyman to look at some wood rot on my balcony, and he noticed that one of the cedar posts holding up the balcony was “sinking.” Apparently, the inside of the post was deteriorating, and the balcony had sunk a little over an inch. Four years ago, I noticed a crack in the stone on the side of the house, and a crack in the ceiling in my living room. I panicked, thinking my foundation was faulty, and I quickly called a foundation company. No, there was not a problem with the foundation, and he said the cracks were cosmetic only. He suggested I build a short retaining wall alongside that part of the house and fill it in with dirt to help support the foundation and to keep the moisture consistent. I did, but I still heard the creaking sounds at night. When Wade the handyman replaced the bad post and added an additional one for more support, the creaking sounds stopped, and the stone on the side of the house closed up! That one post was insufficient to support the balcony, and it began to deteriorate under the weight. And so it is with our bodies.

The other person I know had surgery, and his knee never healed quite right. Even after a year, he was still limping. I didn’t know him well enough to suggest losing weight – he was at least ninety pounds overweight. I lost track of him a couple of years ago, until yesterday. I discovered that he twisted his knee again, and again he had more surgery. His knees are like the post on my porch; they are not sufficient to support the extra weight and never will be.

Our bodies are not designed to be pickup trucks that can be loaded with massive amounts of weight. A pickup truck has a weight limit, and so do we. That weight limit should be our ideal weight.

Too Many Choices!

The other day I was channel surfing with my Dish Network remote, and I noticed something odd. About eight weeks ago, I upgraded my programming to include HBO, Showtime, and the 200 channel package, and I found myself unable to watch a full show. I’d watch a few minutes of a movie, and then I’d switch over to another movie. I couldn’t commit to watching any one show, because I had TOO MANY choices. This made me think about food choices, especially buffets. We seem to think that if we pay for something, like our cable programming, we feel somewhat cheated if we don’t use what we pay for, or in the case of buffets, we feel cheated if we don’t load up our plates with a little bit of everything.

A study was done a while back that proved this point. College students were asked to pick an investment, and then they were asked to rate how they felt about their choice. When the number of investment choices was limited, not only was the decision to pick an investment made quicker, but the satisfaction with that choice was greater. But when the number of investments choices was increased, the time to decide also increased, which makes sense, but the satisfaction with the final choice plummeted! Too many choices wreak havoc with our confidence levels and in some cases will trigger greed. There is apparently a point where we move from feeling satisfied to wanting it all, a tipping point if you will.

Could that be the case with our food intake? Do too many choices lead to “wanting it all”? I’m thinking it does. Quite some time ago, I “eliminated” a lot of food choices for me. I eat very few, if any, processed foods, and do I not eat at fast food establishments – with one exception. I like the crunchy tacos at Taco Bell, but I’ll only eat one or two, and nothing else. With fewer choices, I feel satisfied, and my confidence about my food choices is strong.

This week, eliminate a few of your food choices permanently, and see how your feelings change with respect to what you decide to keep. Might be an interesting way to learn to like broccoli, eh?

As for my journey, the progress is slow but sure. I reached 149. Although that’s less than a pound a week, I’m okay with that, because I KNOW I will achieve my ideal weight. AND I canceled HBO and Showtime and downgraded to the minimum cable package. Managing too many choices was too stressful for me.

The Many Faces of Diets

Low fat; low carbohydrate; low calorie; high protein? Cabbage soup; grapefruit? You name it: there’s a diet for it. There are so many diet books on the market today that each and every one of us should be skinny, skinny, skinny! But we’re not. Why? Diets don’t work? Lifestyle changes do! Find a permanent nutrition plan and stick to it. Period! Work with a nutritionist if necessary, but don’t follow a diet intended for weight loss only. You’ll never stick to it, and the weight loss will only be temporary. And stay away from pre-processed foods as much as possible! The sodium content is usually very high, and the nutrition level is usually very low. Focus on nutrition and balance, not just calories. The best overall nutrition plan I’ve seen that can be followed with ease and permanence is The Zone Diet by Dr. Barry Sears. In a nutshell: 40% carbohydrates; 30 % fat and 30% protein. Keep those carbohydrates low on the glycemic index, and you will feel differently in a matter of days. It really is about balance and nutrition!