As an Ideal Weight Coach, I work with clients who want to uncover the hidden belief system behind their weight problem. The one thing I find in common with obese people is that knowing how deadly obesity is does not deter their eating. To proselytize about the dangers of obesity – heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, and a host of other ailments – is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. Judging this as a self-esteem issue is, well, a judgment, and a waste of time. It’s much more productive to find something that they want and link achieving their ideal weight to that goal.
For example, one client wants to find her ideal partner, and she realizes that a man who would want her at her current weight would not be an ideal match. She quickly discovers that her weight was a protective barrier, and one that was slowing killing her. We set up a plan to convert the excess fat into internal confidence, a confidence that would enable her to say “no” to unhealthy relationships verbally instead of using her weight to keep poor choices away. Fear was the underlying issue, not the weight. She’d had a bad relationship a few years back and turned to food for comfort. She soon became “addicted” to high fat foods and lost track of what a normal sized meal actually looked like. She had gotten caught up in the Super-sized mentality. After calculating her ideal weight and ideal calorie count, she knew that she had some relearning to do. But first things first, she had to replace the underlying fear about getting into a future relationship with the confidence that she could and would walked away from any relationship that was not right for her.
So, you see, being overweight is never about the weight; it’s about the underlying issue. Find out what that is, work on it, and the weight will return to normal in no time.
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